evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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