Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
