Tell her she can't have a vagina
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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