READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
