Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
