So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
