peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
