I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
