Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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