tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
