Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
