you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
