Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
