my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
