she looked like the before picture.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
