if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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