I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
