Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sext me about skeletons
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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