drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
