oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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