I haven't been this sober since birth.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
