did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
