Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
hell yes lets make some ravioli
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
