u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
