i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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