My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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