just come out here and I will go home with you...
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
