Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
