pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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