Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
