I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
