i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
