So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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