did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
