1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My vagina is officially offended.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
