The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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