Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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