he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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