whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
