Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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