If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
