Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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