Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
