I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We were destined to go to rehab together
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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