two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
