youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Be still, my beating vagina.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
