i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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