What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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