i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
