My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Dignity is for republicans.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
