If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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