I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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