I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
