Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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